Housekeepers: Kim Kardashian the “epitome of productive”

Housekeepers: Kim Kardashian the “epitome of productive”

“She’s just next level,” according to her personal accountant.

Notice: This is satire.

March 9th, 2022 at 5:02 pm EDT

Influencer Kim Kardashian is one of the most impressive and productive humans on the planet, according to those who clean her house, make her meals, and run her errands. The revelation comes as Kardashian dodges criticism for her comments to struggling entrepreneurs to “Get your f*cking ass up and work—it seems like nobody wants to work these days.”

“When I think of her, I am in awe at how much she gets done,” said Pat, whose job is to fold Kardashian’s yoga pants. 

Kardashian lives a life that is “all work, all day,” and her dedication and focus have become like a sixth sense for her, personal chef Gregory said.

“I keep her healthy and hit the grocery store every day for the freshest ingredients,” Gregory said. “She can’t focus on being so independent without that.”

Her trainers had similar praise. Jessie, who works with trainer Jamie to provide Kim with her self-sufficiency, sees Kim as a “highly effective person.”

“When she’s going for that last crunch and I yell at her to dig, and I scream that if she doesn’t dig, I’ll kill her,” Jessie said, “she somehow is inspired—from within.”